Well okay, maybe not pouring, but we Finally FINALLY got rain this morning between like 4-5 (somewhere in there, and I’m so vague about it because I didn’t actually hear it; Kevin did. But the ground was so wonderfully moist this morning when we woke up.) We hadn’t had rain at our house for almost 2 months, seriously. And we did our part to help it along by watering the grass last night. (I know, God doesn’t need our help, but my next step was to wash my car in the driveway while doing a rain dance.)
Sooo, something else that got a little watering was our brand new LANDSCAPING! (insert Price is Right announcer’s voice there) We tried and tried for the 6 years we’ve lived in our house to get something to grow in our front flower bed but nothing was working. Whoever designed the front flower beds was either a dreamer or a schemer, because there’s an odd mix of 5:00 blaring sun and complete shade in our front yard. So Kevin called in the expert; one of our friends from church owns a landscaping company here in town and was able to help us get just exactly what we were dreaming of having. It really looks very nice and I’ll promise that Kevin will have pictures (and maybe explanations of the flowers since I have no idea…) up later.
This weekend we were graced by the visit of our friends Gregg & Erin. My due date and Erin’s due date are within 2 weeks of each other; we are both having little girls, and this is G & E’s first baby. We could not be more excited for them and can’t wait to see them again. It’s been a very very long time since we’ve seen them; they hadn’t met Kennedy, and I think the last time we saw them was 2.5 years ago, when they moved away from BCS. Even more shocking is that they only live 45 minutes away from us, and I didn’t even realize it.
Plans are in the works for the next time we will see them, which is good for our blog readers, since we spent all day together talking and eating Wings N More and the boys getting JJ’s snocones…. and we didn’t take ANY pictures. We even got Kevin’s camera out and Erin played with it for awhile… I am ashamed of us. I blame mine and Erin’s pregnancy brains AND the snocones.. they play tricks on your mind. :) I always like hanging out with Erin and Gregg; we don’t get to talk to them a lot, but when we all get together it’s like we’re just picking up an old conversation again. I love how candid and personal we can be with them.
That about wraps up the weekend. That, and we all took a very very long nap on Sunday afternoon. Hooray. And, Kevin and I are going to get massages tonight. Double hooray.
I’ve never been pregnant throughout the months of May, June, and July. I’d like to say I planned it that way, because the Texas pollen blooms during April, May, and June. And, these not-so-wonderful allergens have found their way to my already swollen membrane of a nasal passage. That should have been my first hint of being pregnant… but I chalked it up to the heightened pollen counts.
Many people have asked me, “What made you take a pregnancy test?” or “How did you know you were pregnant?” Some might call it Mother’s Intuition, but really I just had to look at all the signs.
You’ve already read the first one. Here’s another one. I started craving hospital food. Who does that? Apparently this pregnant woman does. The thought of the milk in a little carton, with the “iced” tea in a plastic juice container you have to poke with a straw to drink out of… topped off with a slice of bread and some margarine… yum, yum. (Okay, so maybe it doesn’t sound so good now but about 8 weeks ago it was like heaven.)
I heard a story just today about a couple who had been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant. She had had enough, so she called the fertility specialist to make an appointment. Later that same day, her husband came home to find her eating an entire jar of pickles. He said to her, “You don’t even like pickles!… Are you pregnant?” She went to take the test, and sure enough, it came out positive. So, weirder things have happened.
Here’s another. I started having dreams that I was pregnant again. I just thought it might be wishful thinking. Don’t get me wrong; I was still enjoying Kennedy being a baby and thought I might hold on to that for a little bit longer. But there was something inside of me trying to prepare me for another child. I love my kids and I don’t think I could even have planned how much I love them. (which is unusual for me… Usually I have these things in triplicate.) I can’t even explain how I love this baby just as much as I love them. I haven’t even (really) seen him or her yet and I can’t wait to meet this little life.
Okay, I almost got stuck in sappy-ville on that one. The last “sign” was the obvious one, the positive pregnancy test. But how did I know to take it? Let me back up a bit… In January, I had been having some spotting due to my birth control pill (remember the mix-up?) so I had what I thought was a period. So, a month later, when I did not have another period, I went to the Dollar Store and bought 2 pregnancy tests. And yes, you heard me right. They are $1 each. You have to ask for them, but they’re much cheaper than the drugstore kind and work just as well. So, I went home, took one test, and it was negative.
I figured then I could just chart my “periods” or the absence of them and all would be well, right? Wrong. Turns out I got the timing all wrong and I zigged when I should have zagged. Or something. So, the week before I took the test, I had been feeling SO TIRED. I really, seriously thought I had mono or something. I was so tired and couldn’t get out of bed or take care of the kids… I really did not know what was happening with me. Then, a friend of mine started having nausea and cramping. I called her and said, “So you’re pregnant, right?” She said she had taken 3 pregnancy tests and they all came out negative.
One night I was talking to Alicia on the phone and telling her about how tired I was. Then I mentioned how I was feeling a little sick too and not wanting to smell certain foods. (I’ll blog about that another day.) She and I both didn’t really think anything of it, but when I got off the phone with her, I thought, “This is pregnancy nausea…” That same night I had another dream I was pregnant. It was such a peaceful dream and yet I woke up feeling so anxious too.
The next morning I woke up, walked straight into the bathroom, grabbed the test, and started reading. Kevin said, “Do you think you’re pregnant?” I held my hand up to him, saying, “Just wait a sec. Or 2 minutes.” I never would have had a test on hand because one they’re expensive and two they expire. And, had I not had the experience a few months prior, I would have had to wait to give Kevin the news.
If you’ve ever taken a pregnancy test, the kind where you pee on the stick, you’ll know that as soon as you pee, the little windows fill up and the lines show up (or not). With all 3 of my positive pregnancy tests, I have seen the two lines fill up right away. The test instructions tell you to wait a few minutes for the test to be valid, but as soon as I have taken the test, I knew for sure! I tried not to let Kevin see my excited face, since he is so “by the book” about everything - he wanted to wait 2 minutes, no more no less.
So what does all this mean? And why am I typing it all out? All of these signs individually probably meant nothing. But together, they meant baby. So many times we say, “God, if you’re real, just show yourself to me.” Or, “God, I just need You to give me a sign.” I’m not above asking God to make sure I’m in His will, but when we need signs to get us to believe in Him, that’s a false faith.
Allergies. Hospital food. Dreams. Weariness and nausea. And an extra pregnancy test. How do you see God in your everyday life?
Since Ashley won’t call me or give me her phone number, I can’t let her know this “in person”, so she and the rest of you will just have to read about it here.
We’re expecting #3.
I know, insert big gasp here. Or, how about a picture?
We always knew we wanted our kids to be close in age; we just didn’t know we wanted them this close! I have told many people that Kevin and I had lots of plans to do “other” things - take the trip to Hawaii this summer, train for the Houston Marathon in January (me, not Kevin), MOVE houses, etc. etc. etc… and God gently reminded us Who was in charge.
So, once again we found that our plans are not His. We are truly excited; we always wanted 3 kids (maybe 4), and we’re thrilled that there’s only one baby, at least so far as we can tell! Kennedy and this baby will be 19 months apart. We have told Colby and Kennedy the news. Kennedy is still a baby herself, and Colby thinks he has a baby in HIS tummy too. Once the pregnancy test showed positive, my tummy started pooching out, so it was a struggle to hide the baby until I got to the doctor to make sure everything was okay.
When we went to see the doctor, I had no clue when my due date would be. We got pregnant while I was still breastfeeding Kennedy, mainly due to a mix-up over my birth control pill and my doctor’s office. (Well, you know, it was all God, but if you want a scientific “reason” why we got pregnant, there you go.) While in the doctor’s office, they did an ultrasound to see how big the baby was… it’s amazing how something starts out so little and is yet still a person. The baby was only 3 cm long from his/her head to his rear end, and based on that calculation (only!), they gave me my due date and told me I was 10 weeks along… I took a pregnancy test when I was already 7-8 weeks pregnant because I was just SO darn TIRED all the time and couldn’t figure out why. Well, this was my answer!
My due date is November 19th, which puts me about 15 weeks along. I’m out of my first trimester (hooray!) and I’m nesting, which should explain the lack of posting for awhile now. Since we’re not moving, we’re making full use of the space we do have until we can move, which means lots and lots of cleaning. Good thing our church’s youth garage sale is next week!
I told our Sunday School class about the Scripture that kept flooding my mind when I found out I was pregnant. Here are a few of them.
“…My grace is sufficient for you (Jenna) because my power is made perfect in weakness…” - 2 Cor. 12:9
“The LORD is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?” - Ps. 27:1
“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways’, declares the LORD. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” - Isaiah 55:8-9
We find out what the baby is on June 25th, so wager your guesses now… I’ll hold off on what I think for now. For sure though, this pregnancy has been different from the other ones! I just thought Kennedy’s pregnancy was different because she was a girl, but I already have a boy and a girl and this really doesn’t feel like either one right now! I do have a little hunch, but I really couldn’t tell you for sure.
Like I said, we are really excited and we know the kids will do great with another sibling in the house. Colby and Kennedy really are playing well together and I’ll post an update on them sometime next week. Let the celebrations begin!!
One of our dear mentoring couples from our church has a son who has recently been diagnosed with cancer. The son is married with 3 young children. He lives very far away, in another state, and traveling to see him is very hard. Finding out about the cancer diagnosis has just about eaten my lunch, because the son’s mom and I have been praying very fervently for some other people in our church with very major problems. So when this hit, I just couldn’t believe God would let this sort of thing happen to them.
The son had an 80% chance of surviving the cancer and would undergo 7 weeks of chemo treatments. This has been very hard on their family but their church family has been fabulous; I’ve been reading about them on the son’s personal blog. The church family has prayed for him around the clock, they have driven many many miles to pray with them, and they have brought them meals to help with this stressful time.
Today I found out that at the son’s last doctor’s appointment, the cancer was completely gone.
Gone.
Why am I surprised by this? When I prayed for him, I believed that God would take his cancer away, but now that it has actually happened, I’m shocked. I know that the prayers of righteous men and women avail many… I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead and that He has the power of healing anyone. There were so so many people praying for this precious family. When the mom and I talked earlier today, she told me she slept all through the night last night for the first time since the original diagnosis. I’m sure a huge weight was lifted off their shoulders.
The son is still going to go through chemo, to make sure nothing pops up. But please don’t tell me that God doesn’t work miracles in our present-day life. I know He does. I’ve experienced them more times than I can count. And one of these days, I’ll be able to thank Him in person for showing Himself to me in this way. Until then, I’ll just do my own personal best to praise Him.
So I was watching CBN tonight. Not something I usually watch, but I caught the beginning of it and they mentioned a new documentary that came out today. It’s called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed and Ben Stein is the main character. The premise seems to be centered around the scientific community’s obsession with being anti-Intelligent Design. I am pretty sure it is not pro-Christian. Keep in mind that intelligent design doesn’t mean Christianity, it means that we originated by a higher power (which of course happens to be what Christians believe). Stein interviews several scientists that have questioned that we really originated by some fluke event, like lightning striking a patch of mud. I checked to see if it was at our local theaters, and it is- so I think we will go see it.
After a little digging, I found an expanded trailer on YouTube. Have a look for yourself.
Of course after we go see it, I’ll write some sort of review.
Did you ever have role models? There are wonderful women in our church that I have looked up to for years now. I have watched them raise their families, teach Sunday School, and hold various positions of notoriety in our town. I still think they “hung the moon”. But I think I held some unrealistic expectations of them. After all, they are human and they are capable of every emotion, good and bad. I just never saw their bad side.
Don’t think that something has happened to one of these women to make me change my mind about them. I am just realizing now that it’s time for me to stop aspiring to be one of them and to follow my own life’s plan. I can’t be them; I’m not them! It’s hard for me to think that maybe somewhere other little girls might be looking up to me, wanting to be like me. (And I don’t say this to be proud, I say it because I have a daughter that will hopefully want to be at least a little bit like me.)
So how do I be “all that I can be” without joining the army? How is it possible for me to aspire to be perfect, when I fall so laughably short? I keep running across these verses -
“…the older women [should] be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” - Titus 2:3-5 (NIV)
The New Living Translation says if the older women do these things, “then they will not bring shame on the word of God”. Wow. What a responsibility. I don’t claim to be old, but I know I’m older than most of the people I am around, and I know my life choices make me “older” than most. (being married, having kids, etc.)
So, I don’t want to be a role model. I want to be a Titus Woman. Next week I’ll pick out my costume. Hopefully it will have a cape.
I don’t check the weather reports much. I don’t really have to. I can tell it’s going to rain if Kennedy has lousy sleep patterns. (She did this while in the womb too.) Pretty cool, huh? Except that for the past 2 weeks or so, something has either been coming or going. Guess we’ve had a lot more weather than usual.
Since I’m on a Kennedy update, she has done quite the developing in the past month. She can sign “all done”, nod her head “yes” and “no”, and she says, “mama”, “dada”, “bubba”, “yes”, “dah” (down). She also can mimic pretty well. Kevin says, “Sss” and she does it right back to him.
She is also quite drawn to water - including Cooper’s dish and the toilet. We have changed many clothes and closed many lids since finding out this fact. Colby has taken to saying, “Kennedy, no ma’am.” when he sees her going towards Cooper’s water. He knows to put it on top of the cabinet. What a helper.
Kennedy loves to pull herself up on the coffee table. It’s just perfect for her to swipe at whatever is on top. Of course, the coffee table was taken over by Colby a long time ago as his racetrack for his Hot Wheels cars. So now Kennedy wants to try and play racetrack with Colby’s Hot Wheels cars. This turns into a lesson in sharing and being nice to baby sister.
We are so blessed to have children. I read this Verse the other day that I’m praying for them.
“My [children], do not be negligent now, for the LORD has chosen you to stand before him and to serve him…” - 2 Chronicles 29:11
What? Yeah, that’s what everyone else thought when they heard too. By the way, this is really long. The moral is: DON’T EVER GO TO THE ER.
So, you might remember that a few weeks ago, I thought I had a kidney stone. I endured the pain, thinking it would pass, but I also contracted a fever and chills on Christmas day. So I made a doctor’s appointment for the Friday after Christmas, the 28th, hoping he could tell me why I had had such extreme pain in my abdomen for 2 weeks straight. (And actually, when I called on Thursday the 27th, the receptionist told me my doctor could see me the following Monday, but I pleaded with her that I was in a lot of pain, and she worked me in. My doctor must have wanted to leave early that day because there was pretty much no one there in the office.)
Kevin dropped me off at the doctor’s office because the kids had to go take their naps. After the standard weight and height check (I haven’t grown taller since the 8th grade; I don’t know why they keep checking.), they asked me why I was there. I told a nurse I had been having severe abdominal pain for 2 weeks straight. So the doctor came in and asked me why I was there. I told him I had been having severe abdominal pain for 2 weeks straight. (Just wait, it gets better.) He told me to “hop up on the table” (yeah, right) so he could check me out. He pressed on my abdomen for awhile, I screamed and cried, and he told me we needed to have a CT scan run on me. He called over to radiology to have them set it up. I called Kevin to keep him updated on my progress.
So I wait for just a few minutes more when the doctor’s head nurse (??) comes in and asked me why I needed a CT scan. I said, “I have had severe abdominal pain for 2 weeks straight.” Come on, I’m not a doctor, and I don’t play one on tv. She said, “Well, the CT machine is not operating right now. They’re doing routine maintenance on it because it’s the holidays and they didn’t figure too many people would need it. So, we’re going to send you to the ER so you can have a CT scan.”
Exit head nurse, enter doctor. (By the way, I really do like this doctor.) The doctor tells me he wants to run the scan to check for either a kidney stone, appendicitis, or an ovarian cyst. He said if it doesn’t show any of those things, he would bet it was a bladder infection. (It wasn’t a bladder infection. I’ve had one of those and it hurts when you pee. I only had severe abdominal… you get the picture.)
So, Katrina came over while the kids finished napping, and I told Kevin to grab a book - we were going to the ER. We got there, signed in, another weight and height check, and they asked what my level of pain was and why I was there. I told them I wasn’t having too much pain at that moment but that I had been having severe abdominal pain for 2 weeks straight. The check-in nurse asked, “And you’re just now coming in?” Look, people, I gave birth to 2 babies WITHOUT DRUGS. I know what pain is, and I thought it was a kidney stone that would pass. Give me a break. We exit to the waiting room with 18 people in front of me. Oh, joy.
As we waited (and read our books), the pain started getting increasingly worse. I tell this to the nurse who checked me in, and she puts me in the “front of the line”. Sort of. Also in “the front” was a guy who had a cough so bad it sounded like a piece of his lung might just come barreling out of his throat at any time. We sat across from him. There were no other chairs. This guy told us he worked in this same ER before and that the doctors are not in any hurry to see many patients. Wonderful.
We wait, and my mind is eased for a bit, but the pain gets so bad that the room starts to spin. I don’t remember much, but I remember the Lung Hacking Guy got up and told the nurse that they better come get me quick. The check-in nurse told me to not eat or drink anything if I feel dizzy. (What?) So they finally call my name, and I get up to go follow them. But my brain must not have told all the rest of me to go, because the next thing I remember is holding on to the wall, trying not to fall on the ground. They grabbed a wheelchair and rushed me to a “room”/curtain area in the ER.
The nice ER nurses poke and prod me with needles to take a blood sample and to insert an IV. They asked me why I was here. “Ahem….” (I told them. Again, the response of “Why didn’t you come in before?” And after the fact, my response is, “I’m never coming here again.”) My doctor was Dr. Jerk. No, that’s not his real name, just his attitude. He told me the problem I was having was with my gallbladder. I doubted his opinion and he asked me a lot of unrelated questions but decided to do an ultrasound on my abdominal area to make sure it was the gallbladder. He said, “I could be wrong, but let’s go that route.”
Great. So, we wait. (Oh, and I know you’re asking, “Why didn’t they just run the CT scan like your other nice doctor wanted you to?” We called his office and he had already left for the day, and for some reason they couldn’t call in orders to the ER, that the ER doc would just have to order it. Again, great. We told Dr. Jerk that Dr. Nice wanted to have a CT scan run, but he doesn’t listen. More greatness.)
They end up making me wait a good bit and during this, my pain gets really bad, so they give me a pain killer in my arm. I kept making sure to anyone I talked to that whatever they did had to be safe for Kennedy because I’m still nursing. (Also, this is why I didn’t want to go to the doctor in the first place, in case the only option was something I wasn’t willing to do.) But, the medicine they gave me saved the night.
The radiology lady comes in and escorts me, via wheelchair, to the ultrasound room. (By this time, they have confirmed through my blood test that I’m NOT pregnant, nor do I have cancer.) She rubs on my abdomen for awhile but says nothing. They roll me back into my ER room and Dr. Jerk comes in and says, “Well, it’s not your gallbladder.” Big surprise. Gallbladder trouble runs in your family. I have no family history of it, nor do I have kidney stone history, ovarian cyst history, nor liver trouble history… Dr. Jerk then tells me, “I’m going to have a CT scan run on you.” Great. We could have done that 4 hours ago.
We wait some more. Somewhere in there, I have to take a urine test. Kevin watches and tells me I have great aim, especially while holding my own hospital gown. Thanks, babe. Also, Kevin is my go-between, asking things that I forget about while Dr. Jerk is in the room for 2.5 seconds each time. One of the things I ask for is FOOD; I’m still nursing and I’m always hungry. Dr. Jerk tells him he doesn’t want me to eat or drink in case they have to do surgery on me. Great. But Kevin was a prince; he didn’t have anything to eat or drink the entire time we were there. He said if I couldn’t eat, he wouldn’t eat.
Oh, and also somewhere in there, my parents bring my breastpump. Kevin goes to get it and finds Lung Hacking guy STILL WAITING. This is after we’ve been in the room for almost 3 hours. Good grief. While I’m pumping, Dr. Jerk comes in and tells me he could fall asleep to that sound. A little creepy, but his wife also is nursing and she pumps every night before bed.
SO! The CT scan lady (finally) comes in, and she is a bit of a comedic relief. I’ve never had a CT scan, and I was a little afraid of it, but she put my mind at ease. Kevin got to view my insides. He said they were cool. I asked the lady if I had appendicitis, which was what I thought I had, and she said she wasn’t told to check for it, only for kidney stones. (WHAT?) Anyway, Dr. Jerk reviews my scan, my pain is much more bearable by now, and he comes in to say, “Basically, we don’t know what is wrong. In addition to what you didn’t have already, we know you don’t have appendicitis, a kidney stone, an ovarian cyst, or a bladder infection.”
I think he expected me to throw a punch at him, but actually, I was pretty at ease about the “diagnosis”. I didn’t have any of the things the doctors thought I had. A wave of peace came over me and I told him, “Thank you for telling me what I don’t have.” I sincerely meant it, too, because I then realized, after 7 hours in the ER, that there is only ONE Great Physician that really knows my ailments. The medical profession is not about faith or about trust, it is about science and actual data. When the actual data shows up void, they have no answers. But I do.
The ER doc sent me home with a handshake and a couple of prescriptions, which I’ve been taking as the pain has hit. Usually I’ll have 2 really good days and then 1 day of pain. This is INCREDIBLE, because before I had been having pain non-stop for 2 weeks, if you’ll remember. I’m slowly recovering, but I know that in God’s time, He will make me well.
Dr. J told me that a lot of people come into the ER wanting answers and if they don’t get them, they’re pretty mad. I’m not mad, in fact, I’m quite the opposite. I am joyful that I get to share this long (and hopefully humorous) story with you. I hope you all remember Who is in charge of this world and Who cares about each one of our needs, big or small. I don’t need answers; I need faith and perseverance.
If you have read to the end of this story, thank you. If you want to know how to help me, please pray that God would make me a better Wife and Mom through my pain. If He doesn’t want to reveal to me the source of my pain, then I am okay with that, but I do need to know how to live with it and how to manage it better. The hard part is at night when I need to do dinner and bath and bedtime with the kids. Please pray for Kevin, too, as the whole experience, I’m sure, has been hard on him. It’s always hard to watch someone you love be in so much pain and not be able to help them. Kevin was a rock especially when we delivered our babies because we both knew what the end result would be. This time we don’t have such clear answers. Again, I am grateful that He is allowing me some pain-free days, and I am praying that eventually this would be gone so that I don’t have any recollection of it. What a day of rejoicing that will be!
So, if you’re wondering why we didn’t send out Christmas cards, there’s your answer. We are hoping to send out Valentine’s cards or somesuch. Thanks again for reading.
I am almost giddy to write this post. In the past few weeks I have been evaluating my current leadership roles and commitments. I have come to one very definite conclusion: I CANNOT DO EVERYTHING.
What’s that you say? Yes, I tried to do everything. This is not news to many of you, but I had to find out for myself, evidently. Time is something that is very precious to me, and I really had a good balance of all things I committed to. But, the balance is changing as my family’s needs are changing, so I am bowing out (or bailing out, in some cases) with hopefully some grace and dignity.
This week our MOPS Leaders’ Devotional was fabulous and spoke on this very topic. It was authored by Bethany Wingo, a MOPS Leadership Development Project Manager. She spoke on our culture’s use of technology and then compared it to our purse size (both of which I can relate):
Our latest fixation is using technology to save time. Consumers are encouraged to pay with credit cards rather than cash so as to save milliseconds in the checkout line. I don’t know about you, but I am feeling overloaded by the use of technology trying to save more of my time. Because as we know, more technology does not create more time, we just find a way to fill our schedules with more on the to-do list. It’s like the “purse size syndrome.” The larger the purse, the more junk that goes in it. The more gadgets to help us save time, the more we end up adding to our over-full lives.
It’s important that as leaders we recognize the “purse size syndrome” in our schedules. The less we do, the better we do it. Leaders have a responsibility to those they lead, and the focus is on quality, not quantity. There is no quick fix technology tool to help us get there. It’s about realizing our limitations and setting boundaries that honor our calling and commitments.
Wow. And, I’m also guilty of not observing that “sacred idleness” I mentioned earlier. I crave busy-ness. I thrive on chaos and schedules and planning out each moment as I want it to happen. As a mom, I’m finding out (slower and slowly-er) that things don’t happen exactly the way they used to, the way I want them to. I am taking on less and giving away more jobs so that I can focus on exactly what I need to. I’m realizing if I fill a role I’m not supposed to fill, it’s not answering the call for leadership, it’s disobedience; I’m keeping someone else from filling the role they should.
This is not to say I will sit at home like a bum and do nothing with the kids all day. I’m cutting back on my responsibilities, not eliminating them. But, before you ask me to serve in any capacity, please know the answer might be NO.
…there were never such devoted sisters… Can someone (besides my sisters) name the movie this song was in?
I am so lucky to have grown up with sisters. Alicia and I are only 19 months apart and Katrina and I are 8 1/2 years apart in age, but I feel closer to them than to most of the people I went to high school or college with. Living with people definitely makes you closer to them, like it or not.
Alicia and I were involved in the same activities in high school - cheerleading, band, boys, er… friends. (No, we don’t have the same interests in boys, but we did like to talk about them a lot.) I think Alicia even accompanied me on my first date.. I can’t remember because we were still doing the whole “group dating” thing. She and I learned how to fight. Not physically, but with words and tempers and hormones and emotions. 5 minutes after fighting, we would hug and say we were sorry. But we needed to get things out of our systems, or whatever. I have called Alicia my Best Friend since high school. (Before then we were so stubborn because Mom always told us that our sisters would be our best friends.. we didn’t want to think that Mom might actually be right.) Alicia has stuck “closer than a [sister]” (Proverbs 18:24) through thick and thin… we have been through a lot together and I am a better person because of her.
Katrina and I are really just now getting to be “friends”. For a long time I felt like she was the little sister I needed to take care of, watch out for, and guard. But now that she will be 18 soon, I can’t do that forever. And I think she’s getting a little tired of me doing so. Alicia and I have many hilarious stories of things Katrina did when she was little… One day we’ll write a book and make millions. When Katrina was younger, I used to be annoyed by her, mainly because of our age difference and my inability to laugh at her humor. Now I can see that she’s probably the smartest and wittiest person I know. Her sense of humor is much more mature than her 17-18 years shows. Katrina loves to laugh and it’s so much fun to be in a room with her. She’s also very talented, especially with her voice. I have no doubts that she could be a performer on Broadway if she has the desire. I think right now she’s searching for what God wants her to do, and I have the utmost respect for her.
We took the above picture on Thanksgiving day because I realized that I don’t have many pictures of just the 3 of us. (We can make it if we try, just the.. ) I also am realizing that Alicia, being a senior at A&M this year, and Katrina, being a senior at Bryan High this year, will both graduate in May and be leaving town for a few years. I know I’ll see them occasionally, but this will be the last full year I’ll get to just drop by and see them whenever I want. Mom and I are going to be basket cases come next fall.
I could spend hours writing out funny stories about my sisters and me. They’re all hilarious stories, and some of them you probably just wouldn’t get unless you were there.. or unless you were a part of the “sister-hood”. I’ve been in a sorority. I lived in girls’ dorms. I’m a part of Moms’ groups. I study the Bible with other women. But none of these can compare to my relationship with my sisters. To Lee-cha & Treen-o, I love you!
Not as many pictures for this round; Colby was running fever so we were more occupied with taking care of him.
However, this is a pretty grand picture of the table & food. Before we ate, as is our tradition, we each shared one thing we are thankful for. I found it wonderful that so many of us are thankful for family and for being together. We are, indeed, very blessed.
20 people ate at this table!
Colby eating carrots & ranch dressing.
Katrina, Grandfather, & my Dad
Grandmother & Kevin’s mom
Kennedy sees something…
Oh, it’s a lamp! Can I keep it? (And yes, she really did pull the strings to turn the lamp on & off…)
Kennedy is pictured with Kevin’s dad. Kevin’s parents have made the trip to Bryan for the past few years, so it has become a tradition! Usually they stay over a night, but with the Texas game the next day, they opted to come here and back in the same day. It’s not too bad of a trip (about 3 hours each way) when you don’t have kids.
Today, while teaching my exercise class, I had everyone call out the name of a food we ate this weekend while we did crunches. “1-sweet potatoes!” “2-dressing!” “3-pie!” “4-cranberry sauce!”
So you are in for a double blog today, folks! It is my turn to tell you all what I am thankful for not only this day, but every day. I probably won’t say it very eloquently as Jenna did, but nonetheless it is true from my heart.
As I told them both today, I am thankful for both sets of our parents. I am not ashamed to say that they provided for Jenna and me as we went through college. I am thankful that they gave us just enough, but not too much. Many of our friends will have student loans to pay off for years because either their parents didn’t or couldn’t afford to put them through school. I do not say this in a proud or conceited way; I am truly thankful because without this debt hanging over us we are able to begin saving for the kids’ college and our retirement. We are able to own our house and buy things without creating more debt. I hope to be able to pass on this blessing to my children and hopefully someday payback our parents in some way.
Recently in our small group we were asked, “What one thing/activity/place stirs your affections for Jesus/God?” It is the thought of my children. Never in my life have I understood more clearly the depth of the sacrifice that God made when he gave Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. The thought of giving Colby or Kennedy to die for someone else is completely beyond comprehension. If ever I need a reality check of the depth of God’s love for me (and you), this is all I need to think about. So with all that being said, I am thankful that God is not selfish. God is not proud. God is faithful to me even when I am not faithful to Him. God can forgive. God can forget. God loves me, and He loves you, too.
9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
– 1 John 4:9-11
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against these things, there is no law.” - Galatians 5:23-24
Why am I blogging about the Fruit of the Spirit today? Because I think in order to be thankful, you must possess the fruit. Have you ever noticed that the fruit are listed in the order of their acceptance? It’s much easier to possess love than self-control. I can be joyous rather easily but I have to work on being gentle, etc.
Today I want to tell you what we are truly thankful for. This probably isn’t a shocker to you. Most people say what they are thankful for on Thanksgiving day. But I want to tell you that we are thankful every day. Each day Colby tells me who he is thankful for. And each day I pray for something I’m thankful for. So, my list is rather long… here’s a few highlights.
I am truly thankful for the health of my family. This comes at an odd time, I know, because Colby has been running fever for the past few days. But, I know very many people who have cancer or whose kids are constantly sick. I am thankful for the hope that Colby WILL get better… when I think things are tough, I think about those parents that admit their kids into the ER because their symptoms are far worse than my kids’. I’m thankful that I have never had to do so, and I pray I will never have to do so.
I am thankful for running water. (The last time I said this was 10 years ago, when my family was out of town and the hot water heater exploded above my bed, dripped down to the first floor, and did a total of $20,000 worth of damage to my parents’ house. Then, I was thankful that I got to pick new wallpaper and drapes.) In talking with some missionary friends, I really am glad to have a dishwasher, a clothes washer, and hot water to take showers. And with the cold weather coming in last night, I am looking forward to having a hot shower here soon.
I cannot be thankful enough for the freedom to worship God the way I do. I don’t take full advantage of this like I should, and right now I own more Bibles than some people ever will in their lifetime. Many people gave their lives so that I could be devoted to the church’s service and its ministry. I don’t have to be penalized for or hide my beliefs, because I can exercise them the way I want! Again, I am truly thankful for the liberty that is in Christ Jesus.
If asked, a number of people might tell you they are thankful for their family members. This is also true for us. I know Kevin would say that I am a blessing to him, as he is to me. Our children are also huge blessings. We truly understand the agony that God went through when he sacrificed his only Son for us, and we are thankful we never have to endure what He did. We don’t need to observe Christmas or Easter to remember this… it is an everyday remembrance.
So, do we possess the Fruit of the Spirit by being thankful? I know there are many more Fruit I am aspiring to possess. And, there’s other Scriptures I’m aspiring to be like.
“Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s Will for you in Christ Jesus.” -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Our church just finished the 40 Days of Community campaign. Tonight we had our Celebration Service. Kevin and I were part of a (not-so) small group that had 17 members, and we met weekly to discuss the readings of the accompanying book, Better Together.
If I had a nickel for every time our pastor said “small group”, I could put both Colby and Kennedy through college and grad school. It is important to him and to our church body to be involved. We have been part of small groups before, and I’m a part of several small groups right now - CBS, MOPS, handbells, choir, mentoring/discipling, etc…. I think, though, that it is “easy” for me to be involved in that because I stay at home. I have heard before that it’s hard for men to get to know other men and be involved in any group, but I don’t think that’s because of a lack of effort. (At least on Kevin’s part, and he’s the only man I talk to.) I think it’s because of a lack of time. If men are supposed to work 40+ hours per week (and it’s always more), and THEN come home to be husband and father to preschoolers, where’s the time to spend? And, when you add on Kevin’s responsibilities at church, he’s completely strapped for time. How could he possibly have the energy to go and bare his soul?
I say all this because we are truly praying about our involvement in small groups. We love the idea of doing one together, but maybe we should do separate ones? We’re also struggling with the time commitment. We liked our 40 Days small group because they were incredibly respectful of our time, but that particular day of the week is not too conducive to our other ministries.
Right now I’m writing this and I’m about to fall asleep. We have had an incredibly busy early Thanksgiving weekend with Kevin’s folks (and we’ll post pictures at a later date), AND we just got home from church and got the kids to bed. Yes, it’s almost 10:30 pm. I’m not sure how much more we can bend our time before we break it.
No, I’m not talking about the TV station. This is the name of my current Bible study - Community Bible Study.
Shala told me about CBS last year. Her biggest joy was the children’s program, which Colby I have come to know and love. My wish is that if I am going to learn about the Bible, I want my kids to learn the Bible too. (Kennedy goes to the children’s program too, but the curriculum starts at age 1.) Colby learns wonderful songs and can tell me the Bible story each week. They put Bible verses to music, and he loves it.
This year the name of the study is Servants of God. We have already been through the book of Joshua and are currently finishing up Judges. Next is Ruth. After that comes…. (can you tell me?) We’ll finish in May with 2nd Samuel.
So why am I mentioning CBS right now? We did just meet today, but Thursday, November 29th is “Bring a Friend to CBS” day. If you are in the BCS area, please let me know if you want to be my friend and come to Bible study with me! I have thoroughly enjoyed the study and the core group I’m in, and I think any of you would love it. (Email me if you’re coming, especially if you have kiddos and need “childcare”.)
