Starbucks novice
October 28th, 2008
I have these random cravings, and usually I go with them, mostly because I’m pregnant and mostly because it’s a pretty good blend of healthy and not-so-healthy things. This past weekend, I wanted a cup of coffee. I desperately needed a cup of Starbucks Pumpkin Spiced Latte. Sounds simple enough, right?
I went to Starbucks this past Sunday morning. I had been through the ringer as far as getting myself and my kids ready; the cold weather hit so I’d been spending too much time locating warm clothes for everyone, we were an hour late, I burned their breakfast, and Colby was having a 3 year-old day (think terrible 2’s but worse because now he has some independence and a leg to stand on). So here’s my befuddled conversation with the very nice college co-ed behind the counter.
Me: Can I have a pumpkin drink?
SB girl: Would you like a pumpkin spiced latte or the pumpkin spiced frappucino?
Me: Which one of those is hot?
SB: We can make either of those hot.
Me: I want the one that’s not blended.
SB: Okay then you’re probably thinking of the latte.
Me: Okay then I’ll have that. Decaf, please. (Groan from the back of the line. Starbucks purist.)
SB: Alright! And what size did you want?
Me: Uhhh.. the small one.
SB: Tall? Okay, we’ll have that right out for you!
Most Americans go into Starbucks and order something like this:
“half-caff triple venti double mocha iced frappucino. To go.” OR
“Venti soy latte” (which sounds more like Italian to me?) OR here’s my new favorite -
“Tall upside down caramel macchiato with whipped cream, no foam, and extra caramel in a venti cup.”
Sounds great right? However, every time I go into Starbucks, I blank. The whole deer in headlights look and everything. I smell coffee and I lose consciousness. Is there some sort of Starbucks ESL course out there I could take? It’s not that I don’t want to learn, it’s just that I don’t know how. I’m sure somewhere they have a Starbucks Rehab center, but that’s for a completely different problem.
By the way, the Tall Decaf Pumpkin Spiced Latte with whipped cream and sprinkles was delicious.
Entry Filed under: Funny
5 Comments Add your own
1. Lauren E | October 28th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
I have what I like to drink at Starbucks saved on my phone so I just have to read it off to the cashier!!! Otherwise, I totally blank and usually end up making people mad =)
2. Tiffany | October 28th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Starbucks intimidates me for that very reason.
3. alicia | October 29th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
oh, this makes me so sad. starbucks is like my own personal (close-to-home) version of disneyland: the happiest place on earth! the people are all very friendly and you always have to stand in line.
don’t worry about not knowing how to order. i have discovered that every starbucks has a different method of ordering. i went to one in round rock this past weekend and ordered my usual (tall coffee in a venti cup filled the rest of the way with non-fat milk), and she repeated it back to me in a totally different order. same thing, different city. but they’re always nice enough to ask to make sure you get what you want. and if it’s not what you want, just take it back. the sweet little college girls don’t mind making it again. they’re getting stock options!
4. katrina | October 30th, 2008 at 7:52 am
i’m the same as licia, i love that place! it took me a while, but now i have my fallbacks that i order when there’s other people in line. “doubletall nonfat carmel frapp no whip extra caramel” for hot days. “tall nonfat decaf caramel macchiatto no whip” for cold days.
here, let me dissect them for you.
doubletall - small, with 2 espresso shots instead of 1
nonfat - nonfat milk, supposedly indicates no whip cream
caramel frapp - caramel ice blended drink
no whip - i don’t always get nonfat, but even when i do i like to reitterate [sp??] this. i REALLY don’t like whip cream.
extra caramel - drizzled on top for that extra ooey goodness.
and from this the other one is pretty self explanitory.
i found a booklet once on how to order from starbucks and i studied it until it had it down pat. that’s why i’m such a pro.
but yeah. when there’s no one in line behind me sometimes i get a little creative.
5. Mandi Michaelson | October 30th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I absolutely adore the pumpkin spice latte! Good choice!
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