My Latest Game Show.
August 6th, 2008
Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages, welcome to the world of pregnancy woes and throes!
Behind door #1 we have, *drumroll please*…… ching! HEARTBURN! That’s right! At approximately the same time each night before your head hits the pillow, you’ll have that burning sensation deep in your throat. And then when you take some medicine to make it feel better, your stomach will churn and groan, knowing that you had to drink even the tiniest sip of water to make that medicine go down. Congratulations! Audience! Let’s give her a hand!
And behind curtain #2 we have, *timpani roll please*…..BAAHHHHMMMmmm…. SLEEPLESS NIGHTS! That’s right! You just thought those were for after the baby was born, didn’t you? No! Instead you’ll be forced to use 4 pillows while you sleep, which may or may not make your husband want to sleep on the couch! You can put 2 pillows under your head, making your neck stiff, 1 pillow under your stomach, making you queasy, yes queasy!, and one in between your legs just because you don’t have anywhere else to put your feet. And as a bonus, you get another pillow free for your back, so you can be wedged into that bed (or fall out of it) at a moment’s notice! And, you’ll never know where to put the pillows each night because not only do you need to get up and go to the bathroom, there’s a constant need for you to turn over every hour! Congratulations!
……………..
Okay, so it’s really not THAT bad. The heartburn is starting to let up some and I’m figuring out how to deal. But for those of you that have ever been pregnant, am I lying about any of this stuff?
4 Comments Add your own
1. Melissa | August 7th, 2008 at 8:13 am
HA! No, you are not lying at all. We currently have 5 pillows and a body pillow in our bed, and it seems like I wake up every hour like clockwork to turn to the other side. I try to prop my belly, legs, and face in different angles. I’m also having a big problem with my abs stretching and burning right below my breastbone, which is really painful too. The heartburn came and went, then came back and is mostly gone, but yeah, I could barely drink anything for a few months because liquids made my stomach hurt so bad!
All of this did happen with Addison too, but not till the very end. Wiith Ryan, I’ve felt crummy since day 1. He better be a cute baby!
2. Brandy | August 8th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
LOL – I love reading your blog! You make me laugh. And yes, everything you say is sooo true. Good luck with the heartburn – I know how horrible it can be. Oh and the pics in the above post – those kids look JUST like you! Before I always used to think they were just cute kids, but oh my…those pictures for some reason make them really look like you! Cuties!
3. alicia | August 11th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
it’s katrina again.
i soooo don’t ever want to be pregnant. nine months of, well, this, and then at the end, just to wrap it all up, you get labor and delivery.
…..only under heavy sedation. and i’m talking from day 1.
4. mab | August 16th, 2008 at 12:02 am
@Katrina: Honey, if you can invent the 9 month epidural, you’ll be a billionaire! I’ll buy one….
Jenna, I am so with you on heartburn and on the pillows. It’s ridiculous. My hub tells me that I’m taking up too much of the bed. I remind him that there are two of me. He doesn’t believe that the two of us should be taking up the same amount of room as two linebackers. I just ignore him and shift my pillows. Again.
As for the heartburn — stinkorama! I had it with Bean, so when the familiar achy, burny, icky feeling crept up, I sighed and reached for the Mylanta. (I can’t take Tums — it makes me more nauseous.)
I used to wonder exactly why Mother’s Day is a big deal. Now I know — it’ll take centuries of special meals, flowers, and gifts for my children to make up for what they’ve put me through in these combined 18 months. HAH!
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