My Latest Game Show.
Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages, welcome to the world of pregnancy woes and throes!
Behind door #1 we have, *drumroll please*…… ching! HEARTBURN! That’s right! At approximately the same time each night before your head hits the pillow, you’ll have that burning sensation deep in your throat. And then when you take some medicine to make it feel better, your stomach will churn and groan, knowing that you had to drink even the tiniest sip of water to make that medicine go down. Congratulations! Audience! Let’s give her a hand!
And behind curtain #2 we have, *timpani roll please*…..BAAHHHHMMMmmm…. SLEEPLESS NIGHTS! That’s right! You just thought those were for after the baby was born, didn’t you? No! Instead you’ll be forced to use 4 pillows while you sleep, which may or may not make your husband want to sleep on the couch! You can put 2 pillows under your head, making your neck stiff, 1 pillow under your stomach, making you queasy, yes queasy!, and one in between your legs just because you don’t have anywhere else to put your feet. And as a bonus, you get another pillow free for your back, so you can be wedged into that bed (or fall out of it) at a moment’s notice! And, you’ll never know where to put the pillows each night because not only do you need to get up and go to the bathroom, there’s a constant need for you to turn over every hour! Congratulations!
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Okay, so it’s really not THAT bad. The heartburn is starting to let up some and I’m figuring out how to deal. But for those of you that have ever been pregnant, am I lying about any of this stuff?
4 comments August 6th, 2008