How did I know?
I’ve never been pregnant throughout the months of May, June, and July. I’d like to say I planned it that way, because the Texas pollen blooms during April, May, and June. And, these not-so-wonderful allergens have found their way to my already swollen membrane of a nasal passage. That should have been my first hint of being pregnant… but I chalked it up to the heightened pollen counts.
Many people have asked me, “What made you take a pregnancy test?” or “How did you know you were pregnant?” Some might call it Mother’s Intuition, but really I just had to look at all the signs.
You’ve already read the first one. Here’s another one. I started craving hospital food. Who does that? Apparently this pregnant woman does. The thought of the milk in a little carton, with the “iced” tea in a plastic juice container you have to poke with a straw to drink out of… topped off with a slice of bread and some margarine… yum, yum. (Okay, so maybe it doesn’t sound so good now but about 8 weeks ago it was like heaven.)
I heard a story just today about a couple who had been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant. She had had enough, so she called the fertility specialist to make an appointment. Later that same day, her husband came home to find her eating an entire jar of pickles. He said to her, “You don’t even like pickles!… Are you pregnant?” She went to take the test, and sure enough, it came out positive. So, weirder things have happened.
Here’s another. I started having dreams that I was pregnant again. I just thought it might be wishful thinking. Don’t get me wrong; I was still enjoying Kennedy being a baby and thought I might hold on to that for a little bit longer. But there was something inside of me trying to prepare me for another child. I love my kids and I don’t think I could even have planned how much I love them. (which is unusual for me… Usually I have these things in triplicate.) I can’t even explain how I love this baby just as much as I love them. I haven’t even (really) seen him or her yet and I can’t wait to meet this little life.
Okay, I almost got stuck in sappy-ville on that one. The last “sign” was the obvious one, the positive pregnancy test. But how did I know to take it? Let me back up a bit… In January, I had been having some spotting due to my birth control pill (remember the mix-up?) so I had what I thought was a period. So, a month later, when I did not have another period, I went to the Dollar Store and bought 2 pregnancy tests. And yes, you heard me right. They are $1 each. You have to ask for them, but they’re much cheaper than the drugstore kind and work just as well. So, I went home, took one test, and it was negative.
I figured then I could just chart my “periods” or the absence of them and all would be well, right? Wrong. Turns out I got the timing all wrong and I zigged when I should have zagged. Or something. So, the week before I took the test, I had been feeling SO TIRED. I really, seriously thought I had mono or something. I was so tired and couldn’t get out of bed or take care of the kids… I really did not know what was happening with me. Then, a friend of mine started having nausea and cramping. I called her and said, “So you’re pregnant, right?” She said she had taken 3 pregnancy tests and they all came out negative.
One night I was talking to Alicia on the phone and telling her about how tired I was. Then I mentioned how I was feeling a little sick too and not wanting to smell certain foods. (I’ll blog about that another day.) She and I both didn’t really think anything of it, but when I got off the phone with her, I thought, “This is pregnancy nausea…” That same night I had another dream I was pregnant. It was such a peaceful dream and yet I woke up feeling so anxious too.
The next morning I woke up, walked straight into the bathroom, grabbed the test, and started reading. Kevin said, “Do you think you’re pregnant?” I held my hand up to him, saying, “Just wait a sec. Or 2 minutes.” I never would have had a test on hand because one they’re expensive and two they expire. And, had I not had the experience a few months prior, I would have had to wait to give Kevin the news.
If you’ve ever taken a pregnancy test, the kind where you pee on the stick, you’ll know that as soon as you pee, the little windows fill up and the lines show up (or not). With all 3 of my positive pregnancy tests, I have seen the two lines fill up right away. The test instructions tell you to wait a few minutes for the test to be valid, but as soon as I have taken the test, I knew for sure! I tried not to let Kevin see my excited face, since he is so “by the book” about everything - he wanted to wait 2 minutes, no more no less.
So what does all this mean? And why am I typing it all out? All of these signs individually probably meant nothing. But together, they meant baby. So many times we say, “God, if you’re real, just show yourself to me.” Or, “God, I just need You to give me a sign.” I’m not above asking God to make sure I’m in His will, but when we need signs to get us to believe in Him, that’s a false faith.
Allergies. Hospital food. Dreams. Weariness and nausea. And an extra pregnancy test. How do you see God in your everyday life?
Add comment June 6th, 2008